do you know what I learned in school? I learned that letters are arbitrary symbols that we have attached to sound. and do you know what grammar is? it's an arbitrary set of rules someone decided sounded better than something else.

I learned that I'm ten times happier when I'm speaking french than english, it make my mouth happy like a piece of twizzler.
wanna know what else I learned? I learned that there is essentially no such thing as race. I learned that humans have a unique ability to think counter intuitively, to do things differently. wanna know what else? there is not one matriarchal society that anyone has discovered so far. Not a single fucking one.
I learned that men have been subjegating women in every possible way, even by loading me down with a barrage of male authors who are brilliant and yet quite ignorant of how things function with the "weaker sex." I learned that the only one who appropriately guages women's power is Euripedes. And he is so on point, it is not even funny. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's a tragedy. Yeah, it's a tragedy, look up this one: Medea.


wanna know what else I learned? I learned that if I believe in God, I shouldn't take so much pride in the things I've done, but take ambition towards what awaits me. That's what makes me better than a member of Pan troglodites, who can manage to have a rudimentary example of culture. Wanna know what else? I learned that personal identity is a fucking construct. As You Like It, Forest of Arden, best place ever to figure out who you are.

Wanna know what I learned outside of school? Sometimes, you have to suck it up and do shit, whether or not it's fun and easy, which it never is. Sometimes, young people are ripped away from you, and even if doesn't necessarily directly impact your life, knowing that a "close peer" was fucking murdered in the back seat of his car and then left out in the middle of Alachua nowhere to burn. I learned shit like that can get to you. I learned, beautiful days where the sun is shining gloriously should never ever ever be wasted. I learned to make the most of my meager surroundings. Here, let me clarify my own oxymoron:

I can't stand GAINESVILLE, people push your face in the cowshit the first chance they have to GAIN from your loss. But there sure are a lot of pretty trees, and fucked if I wasn't at least raised a nature girl. And I'm certainly grateful for the friends I've found in this town, who with no more than two exceptions from home, have been the best friends I've ever known, so how can I turn my back on that?


I've learned that I have unconventional hungers, but someone already beat me to the Beat movement, so I come off as a poser...and posers are fucking lame-oids.


here's what else I learned:
There are too many golf pros and tennis hoes in this town, living off their parents to actually inspire the belief that the administration seems to have of the overall student body, and yet, we have brilliant minds on campus. But, attendance is a big part of most of your grade. Hey, why don't I just clock in to class?
Should I go back to the "high-school" me who competed with her friends in constant comparison, battled the non-existant bulge, occupied my mind with stupid thoughts. of course I'm going to change. Give me a few years of my own life, eh?

I hope you all are still not reading, because I kind of needed an empty room to curse in. No spell