Summer makes me stupid

I have to learn. I mean, somewhere in my Viking/Jewish roots there is a gene that makes it a necessity for me to go to school. Whatever it is, the intellectual stimulation, the routine of class, the questions....I need learning. Want proof? This entire summer has involved me drawing tons of blanks on names of authors, philosophers, savantes, radio personalities, even TV characters. I'm dumb. No school=me dumb.

So how in the fucking burning hell does the state of Flori-duh plan to excell as far as academics are concerned by allowing students to graduate in only three years?!?!?!? And I don't mean allowing the kids who've racked up enough AP and Dual Enrollment credits for forty years to graduate early. I mean kids who barely passed the FCAT.

Here's the brilliant plan: voters decided to exercise their rights and vote YES for a bill that promised to decrease class size. The state, in dire financial trouble, decided that the best way to do that is to get all the students out early. Yes. With 18 credits, you too can graduate and get into....let's see....18 credits....well, how's the university of Miami looking? Oh, I'm sorry, I mean Miami Dade. As in community college. good luck on your future.
The plan works well as far as College kids are concerned too...see...less students getting into State Schools...equals less money the state has to spend on Florida Bright Futures, a semi-contract scholarship that offers to pay 100% tuition of any public state school.

HOW DO PEOPLE MANAGE TO NOT WANT TO LEARN!?!?!?
Ok. Look, I'm not unrealistic. College isn't for everyone. That's not what I'm complaining about. But I do think that education is for everyone. A full, broad -spectrumed education. Literature, Philosophy, Math, Humanities, History....stuff that helps us understand wit.

This week's rebroadcasting of The Prairie Home Companion's 2003 Joke Show offered my now new favorite joke:
A guy and girl are out on a blind date, eating dinner.
Guy: So, are you into Philosophy?
Girl: Not really, no.
Guy: Do you have a brother?
Girl: Nope.
Guy: Well, if you had a brother, do you think he'd be into Philosophy?

My other favorite joke:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.