Narcissism at its best

Tempeh is probably the ugliest thing that the Leaf-Eaters ever thought up. It's not just Tofu (the word itself sends some running and shreiking all Monty Python style). It's grainy tofu. With millet. And barley.
And I absolutely love it.

So today, after tossing out my nicely curdled milk and weeding out the borderline rotting food (mmm, delicious imagery so far), I made myself a fantastic lunch. I was so proud. I wanted to take a picture and show everyone. Because not only did it involve me cooking in the hell-hole I have for a kitchen, it involved me making Tempeh looking quite appetizing.

And then I thought, "Oh Damn. I don't have a digital camera." So of course, I knew that words would have to suffice.
Segue...Mmmmm. Mushrooms sauteed with garlic and onions. Tempeh marinated (read: five minutes before hand) in Dijon mustard and Balsamic Vinegar. Cook the mushrooms until the onions are translucent; remove fungus from skillet and set aside. Crumble the marinated tempeh and add it to the flavor infused olive oil along with the onions...taste test every so often, adding more balsamic until the granola-crunchiness is gone. Toast two slices of Wheat Bread...and it is so good. Like, even with a meat-eater's palet, I gah-run-tee that you'd be licking your lips. So simple.

Meanwhile, I still don't have a digital camera. And then I got to thinking about how many self-serving websites there are out on the crazy internet. I mean, random people set up tip jars and wishlists all the time. And people actually send them stuff!! I could set up a list of all the stuff I ever wanted but was too broke to purchase!
So why don't I?
One. I'm a lazy little twit who doesn't really want to bother learning HTML so that I might present my wish list in a snazzy way in order to entice more gift givers.
Two. My mother raised me with more sense than to ask strangers for gifts.
Three. I don't want strange packages inundating my college mail box.
Four. Even though I could avoid packaged bombs in my mail by setting up a P.O. box, I'm also too lazy and broke to do that.
Five. That's what Chanukkah is for.

But if anyone did want to send me soemthing special just for the hell of it, leave a comment and we'll talk.
Or not.
'Cause after all, I'm an English major who should be spending her time figuring out how to turn a phrase and not copping out on the descriptions with digital camera.